Some of you might have started out in "camp breastfeed" and ended up packing your pumping gear and crossing the bridge, with a one way ticket, seeking permanent residence into the "land of formula." My sister in law is one of the few I know that is able to cross-feed, back and forth between breastmilk and formula. I have to admit that I'm kind of in awe and jealous of her ability to cross back and forth between these two forms of feeding whenever she wants, so I decided to interview her for my blog since she's the only cross-feeder I know!
PokeyMomma (me): Why did you first decide to breastfeed your first baby?
PokeyMomma (me): Why did you first decide to breastfeed your first baby?
SisterInLaw: I didn't see any other way..it's the best thing for baby and as a new parent I wanted to try and do everything right...I knew nothing about nursing and the hardships I was going to encounter.
PM: You didn't want to nurse for the first year as is recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics?
SIL: I didn't know much about breastfeeding before I had my first baby. I was only planning on nursing for the first three months, but my duchess wouldn't take a bottle and I had no idea you had to work at it...it was then I just decided to keep nursing because it was easier.
PM: When you first started breastfeeding did you find it easy? Did it come naturally to you?
SIL: Absolutely not! It was painful and I didn't know what to expect. Nobody prepared me.
PM: I'm sorry I didn't know what to do to help, other than pick up the supplies you asked me to get. I wish I knew more back then. You had nobody. How did you get through it without support?
SIL: The nurses at my hospital were supportive. Nobody made me second guess my decision to nurse and when I had a problem I would jump on the Internet to research...needless to say I have read tons and tons of books on the topic.
PM:So after the initial discomfort faded and it became easy to nurse did you want to quit after a few months?
SIL: Are you kidding? I'd still be breastfeeding my first baby if I didn't get pregnant and had to stop! Just joking! ::Laughs:: I wanted to nurse for the first year after I was told that was the recommended time. But I got pregnant when my baby was about 7 months old and my OB told me that by continuing to nurse I would be taking away nutrients that were needed for the baby. I didn't even have time to decide what to do. The day after he told me this my milk started to dry up. My 8 month old baby woke up hungry shortly after I'd put her to bed, which was unusual. She'd start to nurse and then start to cry like she wasn't getting anything. I was forced to switch cold turkey to formula and bottles which she'd never had.
PM: I remember you telling me that all babies have a hard time taking a bottle when they are only use to the breast.
SIL: It's like my pediatrician told me, "Would you rather have a warm grilled cheese or a dry piece of toast This is the difference between breastmilk and formula." consistency is the name of the game here...my babies never liked anything the first time...including nursing...
PM: When I told you that my son fought the bottle on the nights I was in class, I remember you telling me that it's best to buy one type of bottle and stick with it, rather than assume a different kind of bottle will be more accepted.
SIL: That's right. If they are hungry enough, they'll take it. There is no magic nipple that will make the baby take a bottle better...it takes time to learn to drink from a bottle after being use to the breast.
PM: Did you have to go through a bunch of different kinds of formulas before you found one she liked?
SIL: Nope. I picked one and stuck with it. I didn't want to confuse her more. Of course, if she had a bad reaction I would have tried another brand, but she was fine so I never tried another kind.
PM: How long did it take for her to take the bottle of formula?
SIL: We fought hard for about a day, and then she made the transition and it wasn't a problem after that. My next kids I was able to make the transition a lot slower, so both of us were a lot more comfortable with the change.
PM: So were you upset that you had to switch her to formula?
SIL: Yes and no. Yes because it wasn't really my choice. I didn't have time to wean her. No, because it taught me that I can give my baby formula and it would be okay.
PM: So when you had your second baby was nursing difficult in the beginning again?
SIL: There was such a short time between nursing and having babies that I didn't get sore or engorged like the first time. But even though it was a short time I still had to relearn how to nurse a different baby with different likes and needs.
PM: I know you decided to wean your second baby onto formula around the same age, 8 or 9 months right? Why didn't you want to nurse for the first year now that you weren't pregnant and didn't have to stop?
SIL: We are creatures of habit right? It worked very well for me with the first so I did what I knew and in the end it worked out for the best.
PM: So now that you've had your third baby, did nursing come easily?
SIL: Actually, it had been a while (my second baby was 2.5 years old when my third was born) and I got sore this time. I got engorged too, but I knew what to expect so it wasn't such a struggle.
PM: Recently your third baby turned 6 months old and you decided to start supplementing with formula, which is earlier than you had started the first two on formula. Why the change?
SIL: With my third I wanted to make the transition really gradual, so it wasn't such a shock. I started mixing a little formula with rice cereal to get him acquainted with the flavor, and then I started a couple ounces in a bottle. If he didn't want it I didn't force it, and I like doing it that way.
PM: And now you give your third baby formula in a bottle during the day, and still nurse him at night?
SIL: Yes. The first time I went all day without nursing I had to take a hot shower and even nurse him to relieve the engorgement, but the next day I was fine. Eventually I'll start supplementing with bottles of formula at night, but right now it's too convenient to just nurse him. Plus I still like that time.
PM: But he hasn't bitten you yet, right?
SIL: No, but I can tell he is going to be a biter. He tends to bite as he's drifting off and once teeth come in that's going to hurt.
PM: Every time you nurse him, do you savor it? I'd feel sad, knowing this is one of the last times I'm ever going to nurse my baby again.
SIL: Not at all. I enjoyed nursing him as a newborn and as a small baby. I think the first six months it's important, not to mention convenient with all the bottles you'd have to clean, but now that he's moving onto baby food we're both ready for this transition.
PM: I think that's great that you are able to do both and every mother should do what she feels comfortable doing, but I have to ask - and you know I'm not trying to scare you or anything - but what if the formula brand you are feeding your baby gets recalled in a few months? How are you going to handle that?
SIL: After I had my first born, and was forced to put her on formula. Six months later the big BPA scare came out and I cried and cried after I found out that the bottles I'd been heating in the microwave and boiling and steralizing and putting in my dishwasher, they all contained BPA. Then the Rota Virus vaccine was recalled. Next, the car seat and stroller I used were recalled. Jars of baby food are constantly being recalled. Last year, when my kids were sick for months on end and I'd given them more Infant Tylenol and Motrin then I'd ever given them, a recall for both products was issued and every bottle I'd given them was under the recall, I've come to accept that I can only do my best, and even then there are things out of my control. I check the recall websites daily, but there's only so much you can do. We've all survived all of the recalls and I'm sure there will be more and we'll respond accordingly. Formula isn't going to be the only recall in my children's lives so I'm not going to live in fear.
PM: I think you might be one of the rare cross-feeders who is really supportive of breastfeeding and formula-feeding.
SIL: Well I think most women try to breastfeed. They want to do it, but when they think they can't, they move onto formula. I think we should be supportive to those that want to breastfeed, but we can't bash formula either.
PM: That's the hardest part for me when I'm writing my blog. I can't say I'm "pro-formula" the way I am "pro-breastmilk" but I don't want the mothers who had / have to use formula to feel like I'm bashing them. I just want to support and educate all women that might want to breastfeed or in case they want to breastfeed their next child but weren't successful with their first.
SIL: We have to deal with so much as new moms - from sleep deprivation to adjusting our lives to revolve around our kids, struggles in marriages, criticism and judgement from friends and family about what we're not doing or should be doing, etc. We women need to just stick together and be supportive. We are all doing what we have to do. We do what works, and when it doesn't work anymore we change. For now, formula feeding during the day and nursing at night works for me. If my baby gets a runny nose or a cough from a cold I like to nurse a little more, but as he is getting in teeth if he starts to bite I'll start switching to using the bottle more.
PM: You're doing what you're comfortable doing and I think that's all that matters.
SIL: That's how it should be. Women who want to nurse should feel supported in that decision, and if they chose not to do it, for whatever reason, they should feel comfortable with that decision too.
PM: I think that's excellent advice and hope it will give encouragement to all moms. Thank you so much, my cross-feeding expert!
SIL: Glad I could help!
PM: I'm sorry I didn't know what to do to help, other than pick up the supplies you asked me to get. I wish I knew more back then. You had nobody. How did you get through it without support?
SIL: The nurses at my hospital were supportive. Nobody made me second guess my decision to nurse and when I had a problem I would jump on the Internet to research...needless to say I have read tons and tons of books on the topic.
PM:So after the initial discomfort faded and it became easy to nurse did you want to quit after a few months?
SIL: Are you kidding? I'd still be breastfeeding my first baby if I didn't get pregnant and had to stop! Just joking! ::Laughs:: I wanted to nurse for the first year after I was told that was the recommended time. But I got pregnant when my baby was about 7 months old and my OB told me that by continuing to nurse I would be taking away nutrients that were needed for the baby. I didn't even have time to decide what to do. The day after he told me this my milk started to dry up. My 8 month old baby woke up hungry shortly after I'd put her to bed, which was unusual. She'd start to nurse and then start to cry like she wasn't getting anything. I was forced to switch cold turkey to formula and bottles which she'd never had.
PM: I remember you telling me that all babies have a hard time taking a bottle when they are only use to the breast.
SIL: It's like my pediatrician told me, "Would you rather have a warm grilled cheese or a dry piece of toast This is the difference between breastmilk and formula." consistency is the name of the game here...my babies never liked anything the first time...including nursing...
PM: When I told you that my son fought the bottle on the nights I was in class, I remember you telling me that it's best to buy one type of bottle and stick with it, rather than assume a different kind of bottle will be more accepted.
SIL: That's right. If they are hungry enough, they'll take it. There is no magic nipple that will make the baby take a bottle better...it takes time to learn to drink from a bottle after being use to the breast.
PM: Did you have to go through a bunch of different kinds of formulas before you found one she liked?
SIL: Nope. I picked one and stuck with it. I didn't want to confuse her more. Of course, if she had a bad reaction I would have tried another brand, but she was fine so I never tried another kind.
PM: How long did it take for her to take the bottle of formula?
SIL: We fought hard for about a day, and then she made the transition and it wasn't a problem after that. My next kids I was able to make the transition a lot slower, so both of us were a lot more comfortable with the change.
PM: So were you upset that you had to switch her to formula?
SIL: Yes and no. Yes because it wasn't really my choice. I didn't have time to wean her. No, because it taught me that I can give my baby formula and it would be okay.
PM: So when you had your second baby was nursing difficult in the beginning again?
SIL: There was such a short time between nursing and having babies that I didn't get sore or engorged like the first time. But even though it was a short time I still had to relearn how to nurse a different baby with different likes and needs.
PM: I know you decided to wean your second baby onto formula around the same age, 8 or 9 months right? Why didn't you want to nurse for the first year now that you weren't pregnant and didn't have to stop?
SIL: We are creatures of habit right? It worked very well for me with the first so I did what I knew and in the end it worked out for the best.
PM: So now that you've had your third baby, did nursing come easily?
SIL: Actually, it had been a while (my second baby was 2.5 years old when my third was born) and I got sore this time. I got engorged too, but I knew what to expect so it wasn't such a struggle.
PM: Recently your third baby turned 6 months old and you decided to start supplementing with formula, which is earlier than you had started the first two on formula. Why the change?
SIL: With my third I wanted to make the transition really gradual, so it wasn't such a shock. I started mixing a little formula with rice cereal to get him acquainted with the flavor, and then I started a couple ounces in a bottle. If he didn't want it I didn't force it, and I like doing it that way.
PM: And now you give your third baby formula in a bottle during the day, and still nurse him at night?
SIL: Yes. The first time I went all day without nursing I had to take a hot shower and even nurse him to relieve the engorgement, but the next day I was fine. Eventually I'll start supplementing with bottles of formula at night, but right now it's too convenient to just nurse him. Plus I still like that time.
PM: But he hasn't bitten you yet, right?
SIL: No, but I can tell he is going to be a biter. He tends to bite as he's drifting off and once teeth come in that's going to hurt.
PM: Every time you nurse him, do you savor it? I'd feel sad, knowing this is one of the last times I'm ever going to nurse my baby again.
SIL: Not at all. I enjoyed nursing him as a newborn and as a small baby. I think the first six months it's important, not to mention convenient with all the bottles you'd have to clean, but now that he's moving onto baby food we're both ready for this transition.
PM: I think that's great that you are able to do both and every mother should do what she feels comfortable doing, but I have to ask - and you know I'm not trying to scare you or anything - but what if the formula brand you are feeding your baby gets recalled in a few months? How are you going to handle that?
SIL: After I had my first born, and was forced to put her on formula. Six months later the big BPA scare came out and I cried and cried after I found out that the bottles I'd been heating in the microwave and boiling and steralizing and putting in my dishwasher, they all contained BPA. Then the Rota Virus vaccine was recalled. Next, the car seat and stroller I used were recalled. Jars of baby food are constantly being recalled. Last year, when my kids were sick for months on end and I'd given them more Infant Tylenol and Motrin then I'd ever given them, a recall for both products was issued and every bottle I'd given them was under the recall, I've come to accept that I can only do my best, and even then there are things out of my control. I check the recall websites daily, but there's only so much you can do. We've all survived all of the recalls and I'm sure there will be more and we'll respond accordingly. Formula isn't going to be the only recall in my children's lives so I'm not going to live in fear.
PM: I think you might be one of the rare cross-feeders who is really supportive of breastfeeding and formula-feeding.
SIL: Well I think most women try to breastfeed. They want to do it, but when they think they can't, they move onto formula. I think we should be supportive to those that want to breastfeed, but we can't bash formula either.
PM: That's the hardest part for me when I'm writing my blog. I can't say I'm "pro-formula" the way I am "pro-breastmilk" but I don't want the mothers who had / have to use formula to feel like I'm bashing them. I just want to support and educate all women that might want to breastfeed or in case they want to breastfeed their next child but weren't successful with their first.
SIL: We have to deal with so much as new moms - from sleep deprivation to adjusting our lives to revolve around our kids, struggles in marriages, criticism and judgement from friends and family about what we're not doing or should be doing, etc. We women need to just stick together and be supportive. We are all doing what we have to do. We do what works, and when it doesn't work anymore we change. For now, formula feeding during the day and nursing at night works for me. If my baby gets a runny nose or a cough from a cold I like to nurse a little more, but as he is getting in teeth if he starts to bite I'll start switching to using the bottle more.
PM: You're doing what you're comfortable doing and I think that's all that matters.
SIL: That's how it should be. Women who want to nurse should feel supported in that decision, and if they chose not to do it, for whatever reason, they should feel comfortable with that decision too.
PM: I think that's excellent advice and hope it will give encouragement to all moms. Thank you so much, my cross-feeding expert!
SIL: Glad I could help!
