Breast Support

Ok, so before I get into my favorite parts of the Boobie Bible I have to backtrack and fastfoward a bit in my breast-feeding journey so that it will make sense why I found that book so helpful and comforting.

In my previous posts I mentioned how my breastfeeding classmate at UNCC told me I needed a support group before I started breastfeeding - and how I completely dismissed that advice. Then when I had difficulties nursing my sister in law came to the rescue. She was the one who showed my husband where to buy the breast wedge (that would replace a rolled up diaper under my breast to help create a better nursing position for baby) and this handy dandy little stop watch beeper looking gadget called an ItzBeen, (both of these items are listed under my helpful links) which kept track of the last time I nursed, how long I nursed for, which side I nursed on last, when I last changed the diaper, how long the baby slept for, and when I last took my painkillers (will explain why I needed those when I use a blog to cover Ben's birth).

When I finally got in touch with my UNCC friend and told her all about the help I got from my sis in law, she explained her troubles with nursing her first baby and how she needed help too (maybe she will write up a blog about her experience and let me share it here). At any rate, she became one of my "go to" moms whenever I had a question about positions to latch baby in, or if it was normal for him to cluster-feed, or if it was wrong for me to nurse him to sleep, etc. It is so helpful to have someone who recently nursed to walk you through all the questions or concerns you might have.

My best friend had also nursed her baby a year before I gave birth, but she never had cracked, bleeding nipples, latching problems, colicky babies, or ever complained about the discomfort during a let down. So I was a little hesitant to go to her with my issues because I didn't think she could help, but I quickly realized how helpful it was just to have one more person be supportive of my choice to breastfeed.

Within days after my sis in law left we started having other visitors. Some were family, others were co-workers of my husbands, or other friends of mine. I can't blame anyone for trying to help me with my colicky Lord of the Rings screaming dragon baby, but it was very frustrating when people would tell me to give my baby sugar water, formula, or a pacifier. There were a couple more desperate nights when I gave in and tried to feed Ben formula in a bottle but the two or three different brands we tried made him gag and vomit instantly. I was scared to offer him a paci bc I didn't want him to get nipple confusion and wreck the transition I was working so hard on to get him to nurse.

In time I began to get even more pressure from family members to formula feed my baby. At this point the nursing thing was starting to go well. I no longer needed nipple creams, latches came naturally, and the let downs were no longer uncomfortable. So I was very sensitive to their attempts to have me give up what I worked so hard for. One family member that is very close to me kept harping on the issue: "You know I wasn't breastfed and I turned out okay...neither you or your brother were exclusively breastfed and you both survived. I think it would make your life easier if you switched to formula." Easier for who? I remember thinking. I'm all alone here. I can't ask my husband to get up in the night every two hours to make a bottle, he has to go to work all day. So instead of picking up my baby and cuddling him against me while I nurse him back to sleep I should shuffle downstairs into the kitchen and hassle myself with sanitizing nipples, measuring water and powder, heating bottles to perfect temperatures and then have to clean the bottles later on?

One thing my sister in law told me to constantly tell myself was, "No dirty bottles to clean, no dirty bottles to clean." When I explained that nursing was the very best thing for the baby, and that I wanted to do it for a year, this particular family member told me that maybe the first few days of nursing is important but the difference between nursing for 12 months or 9 months or 6 months or 6 weeks or even 3 weeks didn't really matter. Maybe this person didn't understand breastfeeding because his/her own mother never breastfed, but throughout the course of breastfeeding my son I continued to hear comments about how "this isn't natural" and how my desire to nurse is becoming "a perversion."

Another family member asked me on what felt like a weekly basis, "Is he still on the tit?" and "how much longer till he's off the tit??" While out to eat with both of these family members Ben was about 3 months old and I knew if I could just nurse him he'd calm down and potentially fall asleep and allow us to enjoy our meal together. When I explained that his relentless crying was because he was hungry they asked with fear and alarm in their eyes, "You're not going to feed him right here are you??" I told them no, and carried my baby into a bathroom and nursed him in a stall. FYI there are cotton pretty little apron like things called Udder Covers you can use to nurse in privacy should your baby ever be hungry in public.

Because I didn't get the encouragement and support from certain family members I heavily relied on my breastfeeding friends to become my breast feeding support group. But I was still discouraged by those that weren't supportive and thought that if I could educate them on how wonderful breast milk is then they would see why this was something so important to me. This was when my research began and the more I read, the more convinced I became that this wasn't just a beautiful bonding time for mother and baby, this was something I would fight for. Not just my right to nurse, but the right for every baby and mother to be given the support and tools they might need to breastfeed. There is so much information, so many truly amazing qualities to breast milk, benefits to both baby and mother, many still yet to be discovered and no single book can cover it all. New facts are being published all the time and I continue to read articles on breast milk or formula and want to somehow organize as much of it as I can in a way that can be useful to those just starting out. This is why I am dedicating this blog to breastfeeding, because the very best thing is the very breast thing!